Almost an Ordinary Saturday
by dobbyfan18
Summary: Just a very strange fic I wrote because I was in the mood. Involves a very well-educated goat, the trio in Elvis wigs, and Snapple. Do not read if you like stories that make sense.
1. Ordinary?

Snape landed on the sidewalk.  
  
Layna stared.  
  
Snape started to disco.  
  
Layna looked confused.  
  
Her brother Tevan and I laughed.  
  
It was almost an ordinary Saturday, but not quite. The reason why ought to be rather obvious. I was at LaynaÕs house, and we were going to wander around aimlessly, talking, when Tevan came running out of the house for an unknown reason, and Snape landed on the sidewalk.   
  
Snape conjured a bottle of Snapple out of nowhere, and gave it to a nearby purple goat.   
  
The goat looked aggravated, and shouted something in Goat.  
  
This time, we all looked confused.  
  
The goat shouted again, ÒHelp! IÕm really Hilary Duff! Get me out of here!!!Ó  
  
Layna and Snape immediately went over and tried to free Hilary, who looked rather taken aback that they had reacted so suddenly. The goat said, ÒNah, just jokinÕ with you! IÕm not really Hilary Duff, IÕm merely a very intelligent goat!Ó  
  
Snape snatched his Snapple back and fashioned his hair into a mohawk using it as hair gel.   
  
J. R. R. Tolkien appeared out of thin air and fell over laughing when he saw Snape. Soon Victoria was upon him with a piece of paper and pen, demanding an autograph. Tolkien looked intimidated and said, ÒUm....look at the time! Got to run, IÕm out of generic orange soda!Ó  
  
OK, maybe it wasnÕt even CLOSE to an ordinary Saturday. My feeling of this became even more pronounced when Medar rode by on a flying pig, yelling, ÒCome on, nice North-South sound!Ó  
  
We all collapsed at this, even Victoria, who, I was certain, had no idea what we were laughing about, as she had been intent on where Tolkien had gone.  
  
Just then, Harry, Ron, and Hermione ran into LaynaÕs yard. They were wearing Elvis wigs and singing something about Sherlock Holmes. Snape said, ÒExcellent! Other sensible people!Ó and promptly joined their nonsensical song, still discoing.  
  
ÒRiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight,Ó I said. This was most definitely a far-from-ordinary Saturday, and it just might get stranger.  
  
Disclaimer: I donÕt own Snape, Harry, Ron, Hermione, or Sherlock Holmes. I donÕt own Hilary Duff, Layna, Tevan, Victoria, Medar, or Tolkien, either, as itÕs rather hard to own real people. I also donÕt own Elvis or his hair. However (finally), I do own myself.  
  
A/N: Yes, I know it makes absolutely no sense, but IÕm proud of it, and I know some of you like nonsense, too! If you have questions about who anyone in here is (which I would completely understand), just post them in your review and IÕll try to answer them. 


	2. Things Get Stranger

Disclaimer: I own dog hair, and there is none mentioned here. Therefore, I donÕt own anything or anyone I write about. Except me.  
  
We all watched the Trio and Snape sing for a few minutes, but it wasnÕt long until the next strange thing happened.  
  
The Fellowship of the Ring (complete with Boromir) came around the corner. Close behind were Fred and George, who promptly let off a box of their WeasleysÕ Wildfire Whiz-Bangs.  
  
Ducking a large pink Catherine Wheel, Victoria ran over to the Fellowship, clasped her hands, and commenced following Pippin around. Meanwhile, Aragorn asked Tevan for directions to the West Gate of Moria.  
  
When all was settled--- Well, no. Victoria was still tailing Pippin and the fireworks showed no sign of dwindling. When Tevan had given Aragorn directions, the Fellowship (now accompanied by Vickie) set out. No one ever found out how Tevan knew how to get to Moria, but he did.  
  
It took a second for us to realize Victoria was gone. But when we did, it was definitely a party.  
  
Snape conjured a stage in LaynaÕs yard, and he, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, were the live music. Fred and GeorgeÕs fireworks provided plenty of decoration, and guests kept coming for no apparent reason. The only person we had to invite was Squidward.  
  
Lee Jordan, who had apparently followed the twins, was first. Next came Neville, and with him the Creevey brothers with their incessant questions about the Ministry ordeal.  
  
Simon and Jaden came by to see SquidwardÕs clarinet, but ended up talking to Harry about his wig when the performance was over.  
  
J.R.R. Tolkien reappeared with his generic orange soda, and let everyone have some.  
  
The purple goat got up onstage when the Trio and Snape finished singing, and told jokes to the music of SquidwardÕs clarinet.  
  
By this time, the fireworks had brought LaynaÕs mom out of the house, but she was lost in a flood of Hufflepuffs as soon as she stepped off the porch.  
  
Fang turned up, though he looked rather disgruntled, as a flock of lawn gnomes (the alive kind) was riding on him. Soon after Fang came Sam Gamgee.  
  
ÒArenÕt you supposed to be with the Fellowship?Ó I asked him.  
  
ÒWell, yes, but I wanted to get away from that red-haired creature thatÕs obsessed with Pippin, so IÕve decided to come promote green eggs and ham.Ó With that, he strode up to Squidward (who was still onstage) and tried to force him to eat some.  
  
Hagrid turned up not much later in pursuit of his dog. He had a large supply of garlic bread, too, but we knew better than to try it until he said heÕd gotten it in Athens, Georgia, and hadnÕt baked it himself.  
  
It was then, as I took a slice of garlic bread and listened to Jaden asking Harry how his wig was dyed, that I realized: This Saturday was no longer normal, by a long shot. Layna seemed to be thinking the same thing, because she yelled, ÒWHY IS THERE A LARGE GROUP OF PEOPLE AND CHARACTERS IN MY YARD!?!?!?Ó Everyone was silent for exactly 7.2 seconds, and then everything was back to normal --- but normal wasnÕt normal at all. It was fun, though, and I wasnÕt about to protest, even when Alicia Spinnet and Lord Faramir emerged from the neighborsÕ house and joined the congregation.  
  
I could scarcely believe that only an hour ago, Layna and I were the only ones outside, and we were only going to wander around aimlessly, talking. I had nearly forgotten: it had started with Snape landing on the sidewalk. And yet, oddness had not yet reached its maximum.  
  
A/N: I hope you liked it, IÕve never done a continuation of such nonsense before. Actually, itÕs rather fun. I thought of it when I was laying in bed last night, so I hope I remembered everything. As you can tell from the ending, I might keep writing. Anyway, PLEASE r&r. If youÕve bothered reading this far, you might as well tell me what you think. Plus, I want to know!!! 


End file.
